Did I just think that?

Do you ever hear yourself thinking things that sound completely crazy?

This has happened to me a few times since changing how I use and feel about food.

Case in point: A few months ago as several of my co-workers, including my office-mate, were getting ready to go out of town for a conference, I heard myself think, "Now I can eat whatever I want and no one will know!" Immediately after having that thought I corrected myself. I reminded myself that if I cheat on the diet I'm only cheating myself. It doesn't matter if no one else sees what I eat...calories consumed are still calories consumed.

Second Example: On Thursday while I was waiting for my lunch to heat in the microwave, I was standing next to a GIANT dessert try filled with cookie bars, lemon, bars, brownies, cookies, fudge, and other delicious things, I talked myself into having just one. After all, they were cut into bit size pieces and as long as I logged them on my food log I'd be alright. Immediately after finished the first bite size brownie I went for a second. As it was on its way to my mouth I hear myself think "And No one has to know about THIS brownie!"




As soon as that thought crossed my mind I became aware of the situation and spit out the brownie before I actually ate it. Phew.

This just goes to show how utterly messed up my relationship with food is. I know that if I eat it, it counts. I know that even if no one sees it, it still counts.

Do any of you "hear" yourself think things about your eating that you know isn't right? Even if you've lost all of your weight and are now a success story do you have to deal with these thoughts?

Comments

erica said…
Umm hello yes...lol. In college I managed to lose "too much weight" and got down to 95 lbs. I am not at this point now because food would "seduce" me and have me thinking this stuff. Well and I gained because my body wasn't all about weighing that little. Be strong girl!

xo
June 2, 2010 at 5:47 AM
Kimmi said…
I do the same thing! The secret eating is the worst. For some reason my brain thinks it's okay!

Good job on spitting out the brownie! I have to tell myself that I can only eat what I brought to work and everything else is vile or I'd eat all day!
June 2, 2010 at 5:58 AM
LaurenD said…
wow I do the same thing too, I try to rationalize things all the time. I wait until my boyfriend leaves our house and then say alright I can eat whatever I want now and he will not know. I sit there and just come up with the weirdest excuses and reasons why I can eat certain things, ridiculous!
June 2, 2010 at 7:46 AM
River said…
That happens to me like once a week :) Not cool at all. That's why I soemtimes wish I had someone constantly with me who knew how to stop me and control me without driving me insane. I am yet to find out a way to stop myself.

You on the other hand are definitely at least a step ahead of me. Congrats big time!!
June 2, 2010 at 1:40 PM
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